A letter from your loved one at "camp" - Courtesy of Boot Camp Daze
(www.bootcampdaze.50g.com)
Dear    Mom,     Dad,     Spouse,    Live-in Same-sex Lover,

How have you been?  I have been;
 doing wonderful.    fine.    eating too much.    starving.     wetting my pants.   trying to keep my ass out of trouble.      sweating day and night.     so horny that I cum when the wind blows.

Today we;
 had a picnic.    played tag.    worked hard.    worked very hard.    worked so Goddamned hard, I'm even kickin' myself in the ass in my sleep for coming here.

Tomorrow I am going to;
 go to the park.      take the day off.      do more hard work.      find a way to escape without detection.    fake death in the morning so they'll leave me alone.      wake up and realize once again that this wasn't a fucking nightmare.

I've been thinking about;
 you.    all our friends and family.     volunteering for extra chores.      the sweet relief that would come with an early death.      why I signed up to come to this God-forsakened Hellhole.    announcing to my superiors that I'm gay and have entertained fantasies involving them, groundhogs, and Miracle Whip (That should get me a ticket home).

We occupy ourselves by;
 making lovely crafts.    reading poetry to each other.    taking long walks in the woods.    napping    doing a lot of that hard work that I mentioned before.    doing whatever the hell they tell us to.    plotting revenge.

Many times we;
 play ball.     search for unique and lovely stones on the beach.    practice our basket weaving skills.
 wish we were born into a family of millionaires so we wouldn't have to do this shit.    find ourselves running in circles.    do sit-ups until we puke blood.

The;    camp counselor    people in charge    drill instructor    sadistic bastard who runs this pit of agony        guy in charge, known to the rest of the world as "SATAN",
keeps us busy by having us;    learn new language skills.    do watercolor paintings under a shade tree.    do grounds-keeping work.    hurrying up and waiting.    do 10,000 fucking push-ups for no reason.  (I don't want to talk about it.)

Some day soon we hope to;
 have a sock hop.    ride bikes.    go swimming.    catch our breath.    find a place to hide.
 get the fuck out of here.    find weapons.      pay them back for all the put us through.    burn the place to the ground and piss on the ashes.

At the end of the day we;
 are very tired from so much fun..    watch the sunset from a grassy noll.     play songs by the fire.
 are too tired to care about anything ... even sex.      collapse in our beds and pray to die in our sleep. 
 fantasize revenge.

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